Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Born With a Penis But Smells Like a P*ssy

I've been wondering for a long time why players, from the other team, smell fishier than me. Meaning, why am I wearing the pants while they're wearing the pads? I thought I was supposed to be the emotional, hormonal, moody one but it's the other way around regularly. It's an epidemic that has quickly spread throughout the male race and it's continuing to spread without a cure. I can't even begin to tell you how many dudes I've come across that are "thugs" and "gangstas" in the streets but are bitches at home..now ain't that something.

Case and Point: Myself and my girl were chillaxing at her house, soaking our feet in foot spas, sipping on apple cider and eating our PF Changs takeout...a mini Diva Day...basically trying to catch up on everything we have missed in each other's lives the last 9 months. About 2 hours later, in walks her bd and his boy...great. Don't get me wrong, he's coo but to a certain extent. I knew as soon as he walked in the house, it was gonna be something...first since I was there, her attention wasn't going to be on him...second his boy was there so you know how that go...and third he's a hater. Less than 20 minutes of him being there...it started. He complained about the clothes not being washed, about her not cooking and of course about us taking up the living room...he couldn't be serious. He was doing the most...yelling, cussing, throwing sh*t and performing for me and his boy. Like me, she pretended like he didn't exist at that moment...I had heard the same bs at one time and I didn't want to hear it again. Of course, being ignored made him act even more like his obnoxious self. His final attempt failed miserably; he asked her to cook up a meal real quick...mind you...she's pregnant and the doctor told her to stay off her feet for the next couple of weeks. So because she refused, he started reading the script from Act V, scene ii...that "I run this, respect me, I'm the man" type crap. He got up in her face like she was a man about to get beat down. Instead, he just pushed her head back with his fingers...big mistake. He ended up catching a coo one to the jaw...I smell p*ssy, is that you B?


BrandNuSpecial said...

why did you take the picture down? it was hilarious!

The E-Mancipated SOUL said...

Can I just play devils advocate for one minute? See i was in a situation where I has pregnant and wearing the pants. I had two jobs and was a full time student up until 4 weeks before my baby was born. Now even though my son's father was around, thats all he was was around. No job, no money, no social skills nothing. I had to clean, cook, make the baby, and make the money. It was very easy for me to be rude and demeaning to him in little ways, that for years I didn't even notice. I was very easy for me to cook food only for myself and take it up to MY ROOM in MY APARTMENT that I WAS PAYING the rent for. But you see I didn't even give him the opportunity to be a man because my pregnant ass was running around acting like I could be a mommy and a daddy all in one and I didn't need a man for nothing. And trust me I'm not saying that we as strong black women should deny our god given strengths but I do think that we can try to help our men be men by taking off the pants and letting them try them on for a while. you never know you may just find what you need!! See you 11-30-09 YAY!!!!!

Ernid said...

Somebody's been a busy blogging beeeaaaaver! You're a funny kid!