I felt like I had been searching for something that was just unattainable. It was such an empty feeling. And I tried my hardest to fill it with something anything...sex, drank, fire. I tried to surround myself with people so that I wouldn't feel...feel...alone. As soon as the ex-factor would leave, it was like I would no longer have any purpose...what was I supposed to do. So I made a suggestion to him and to myself...church. I mean I was raised in the church, raised to believe in God, sang in the children's choir for 6 years, attended Bible study, etc., etc. And as I got older and older, I lost that one connection that's most important in my life and I was in desperate need to get it back...
When I walked out of the sanctuary doors, it was as if I had been holding my breath under water for months and I finally came up for air...such a fresh breath of air. It felt like the whole lesson was directed at me...it sparked whatever in me needed to be sparked. I definitely had to make church a part of my weekly routine or at least continue to rebuild my relationship with the one above...
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